第22章 THE SUNLIGHT LAY ACROSS MY BED(5)

He answered, "This is our brother who once fell and lost his hands and feet, and since then he cannot help himself; but we have touched the maimed stumps so often that now they shine brighter than anything in Heaven.We pass him on that he may shine on things that need much heat.No one is allowed to keep him long, he belongs to all"; and they went on among the trees.

I said to God, "This is a strange land.I had thought blindness and maimedness were great evils.Here men make them to a rejoicing."God said, "Didst thou then think that love had need of eyes and hands!"And I walked down the shining way with palms on either hand.I said to God, "Ever since I was a little child and sat alone and cried, I have dreamed of this land, and now I will not go away again.I will stay here and shine." And I began to take off my garments, that I might shine as others in that land; but when I looked down I saw my body gave no light.Isaid to God, "How is it?"

God said, "Is there no dark blood in your heart; is it bitter against none?"And I said, "Yes--"; and I thought--"Now is the time when I will tell God, that which I have been, meaning to tell him all along, how badly my fellow-men have treated me.How they have misunderstood me.How I have intended to be magnanimous and generous to them, and they--." And I began to tell God; but when I looked down all the flowers were withering under my breath, and I was silent.

And God called me to come up higher, and I gathered my mantle about me and followed him.

And the rocks grew higher and steeper on every side; and we came at last to a place where a great mountain rose, whose top was lost in the clouds.And on its side I saw men working; and they picked at the earth with huge picks; and I saw that they laboured mightily.And some laboured in companies, but most laboured singly.And I saw the drops of sweat fall from their foreheads, and the muscles of their arms stand out with labour.

And I said, "I had not thought in heaven to see men labour so!" And Ithought of the garden where men sang and loved, and I wondered that any should choose to labour on that bare mountain-side.And I saw upon the foreheads of the men as they worked a light, and the drops which fell from them as they worked had light.

And I asked God what they were seeking for.

And God touched my eyes, and I saw that what they found were small stones, which had been too bright for me to see before; and I saw that the light of the stones and the light on the men's foreheads was the same.And I saw that when one found a stone he passed it on to his fellow, and he to another, and he to another.No man kept the stone he found.And at times they gathered in great company about when a large stone was found, and raised a great shout so that the sky rang; then they worked on again.

And I asked God what they did with the stones they found at last.Then God touched my eyes again to make them stronger; and I looked, and at my very feet was a mighty crown.The light streamed out from it.

God said, "Each stone as they find it is set here."And the crown was wrought according to a marvellous pattern; one pattern ran through all, yet each part was different.

I said to God, "How does each man know where to set his stone, so that the pattern is worked out?"God said, "Because in the light his forehead sheds each man sees faintly outlined that full crown."And I said, "But how is it that each stone is joined along its edges to its fellows, so that there is no seam anywhere?"God said, "The stones are alive; they grow."And I said, "But what does each man gain by his working?"God said, "He sees his outline filled."

I said, "But those stones which are last set cover those which were first;and those will again be covered by those which come later."God said, "They are covered, but not hid.The light is the light of all.

Without the first, no last."

And I said to God, "When will this crown be ended?"And God said, "Look up!"

I looked up; and I saw the mountain tower above me, but its summit I could not see; it was lost in the clouds.

God said no more.

And I looked at the crown: then a longing seized me.Like the passion of a mother for the child whom death has taken; like the yearning of a friend for the friend whom life has buried; like the hunger of dying eyes for a life that is slipping; like the thirst of a soul for love at its first spring waking, so, but fiercer was the longing in me.

I cried to God, "I too will work here; I too will set stones in the wonderful pattern; it shall grow beneath MY hand.And if it be that, labouring here for years, I should not find one stone, at least I will be with the men that labour here.I shall hear their shout of joy when each stone is found; I shall join in their triumph, I shall shout among them; Ishall see the crown grow." So great was my longing as I looked at the crown, I thought a faint light fell from my forehead also.

God said, "Do you not hear the singing in the gardens?"I said, "No, I hear nothing; I see only the crown." And I was dumb with longing; I forgot all the flowers of the lower Heaven and the singing there.And I ran forward, and threw my mantle on the earth and bent to seize one of the mighty tools which lay there.I could not lift it from the earth.

God said, "Where hast THOU earned the strength to raise it? Take up thy mantle."And I took up my mantle and followed where God called me; but I looked back, and I saw the crown burning, my crown that I had loved.

Higher and higher we climbed, and the air grew thinner.Not a tree or plant was on the bare rocks, and the stillness was unbroken.My breath came hard and quick, and the blood crept within my finger-tips.I said to God, "Is this Heaven?"God said, "Yes; it is the highest."